How to Heal a Broken Heart (From Someone Who’s Still Learning)

I’m not a guru.

I’m not an expert.

And I’m definitely not someone who has mastered love.

I’m just a human, a student of life who has been cracked open by love many times and somehow still believes in it.

People often ask me: “How do you heal a broken heart?”

And every time, I pause.

Because healing a broken heart isn’t something you can teach from a book or quote from a meme. It’s something you live through breath by breath, tear by tear.

I’ve been there, the sleepless nights, the endless replays of conversations in your mind, the wondering if they’re thinking of you too. I know that hollow ache in your chest that makes even breathing feel heavy.

And here’s what I’ve learned, after many cycles of loving, losing, and learning again:

Your Heart Isn’t Broken — It’s Expanding

When we say “my heart is broken,” it feels true. But biologically, your heart is still pumping. It hasn’t stopped doing its job by sending blood, oxygen, and life through your body.

So what’s actually broken?

It’s the illusion of certainty.

The familiar rhythm you built around someone.

The version of reality where that person’s presence felt permanent.

It’s not your heart that’s broken

it’s your mind’s attachment to what once felt safe.

When someone leaves, your nervous system reacts as if you’ve lost a part of yourself because, in a way, you have. Love bonds release oxytocin and dopamine, creating neural pathways that associate that person with comfort, joy, and safety. When they’re gone, your body literally goes through withdrawal.

So yes, it feels physical, the trembling hands, the pressure in your chest, the loss of appetite. But beneath all that, your heart isn’t dying. It’s stretching, expanding to hold more of yourself.

If I had to explain it to a 5-year-old, I’d say:

“Sometimes when people we love go away, our heart feels cracked but it’s just growing bigger. It’s learning to hold more love — even love for yourself.”

The Questions That Break You (Before They Heal You)

When I was in the thick of heartbreak, I remember the endless spiral of self-questioning.

“What did I do wrong?”

“Am I not enough?”“

Why can’t I just be loved the way I love?”

“Am I too much? Or maybe not enough?”

Those questions were daggers I kept turning inward.

I didn’t realize it then, but I was practicing self-sabotage disguised as “self-reflection.”

I thought if I could find the reason, I could fix myself and make people stay.

I measured my worth by how others treated me, how they looked at me, or how long they stayed. I thought love was something I had to earn.

But love that must be earned isn’t love — it’s transaction.

It took me years to realize that nothing was “wrong” with me.

I just didn’t know who I was without being someone’s “someone.”

And when that illusion crumbled, I met the hardest yet most liberating truth:

I am not a victim of love , I am a participant in my own becoming.

Taking Responsibility for Your Own Healing

It’s so easy to fall into the “why me?” trap.

Why does love keep hurting me?

Why do people always leave?

Why do I always attract the same type?

But here’s something powerful:You attract what you believe you deserve not what you say you want. If you believe deep down that you are unworthy, unavailable, or broken, life will send people who confirm that belief; not to punish you, but to make you see it.

Every person you love deeply will mirror something within you:

the light, the shadow, the parts you celebrate, and the parts you still hide.

That’s not punishment. That’s awareness disguised as pain.

I started studying energy when I realized heartbreak wasn’t random it was energetic alignment.Everything in life is vibration. Thoughts, emotions, words, intentions — they all carry a frequency. You attract people and situations that resonate with your dominant frequency.

If you’re carrying abandonment wounds, you’ll attract situations that activate abandonment not because the universe is cruel, but because your soul wants to heal it.

So instead of saying, “They hurt me,” I started asking, “What part of me attracted this?”That question didn’t make me blame myself, it empowered me. It helped me shift from victim to creator.

Rewiring the Subconscious: From “I’m Not Loved” to “I AM LOVE”

For years, my inner narrative was filled with lack.

I’d say, “I just want someone to love me for who I am.”

But beneath that desire was the vibration of not being loved.

The subconscious mind doesn’t understand negation.

When you say “I want love,” it hears “I don’t have love.”

So it keeps recreating the same longing.

To break that pattern, I started reprogramming my thoughts.

Not through fake positivity, but through awareness.

Every time my mind said, “Nobody loves me,”I whispered back, “I am love.”

Every time I missed someone, I placed my hand over my heart and said,“They were just a reminder of how deeply I can feel.”

And slowly, I realized:The love I was seeking was never outside me. It was me.

When Bitterness Knocks, Choose Softness

After heartbreak, bitterness feels safer than vulnerability.You tell yourself, “I’ll never love again,” “All men/women are the same,” “Love is just pain.”That armor feels protective but it also keeps real connection out.

Healing means opening your heart again, knowing it could hurt again, and choosing to love anyway. Bitterness says, “I’ll protect myself from love.”Healing says, “I’ll protect my peace while staying open to love.”

Here are small, realistic ways to begin:

1. Cry without shame. Tears are proof that you cared.

2. Move your body. Walk, dance, stretch. Emotions are energy in motion.

3. Spend time in nature. Let the earth remind you that endings lead to new seasons.

4. Detox from reminders. Mute them, block them, delete messages not from hate, but from love for your peace.

5. Talk kindly to yourself. If you wouldn’t say it to a child, don’t say it to yourself.

6. Start small joys. A cup of tea, a sunrise walk, journaling by the sea, healing happens in ordinary moments.

7. Don’t rush to fill the void. Sit with your solitude. There’s gold in it.

Love Yourself First, It’s Not Just a Cliché

People always say, “You must love yourself before you love others.”It sounds nice, until you try to do it. Loving yourself doesn’t mean spa days or affirmations (though those help).

It means meeting the parts of you you’ve abandoned.

The insecure one.

The jealous one.

The one who begs for attention.

It means holding those versions of you with compassion instead of judgment.

Because you cannot pour from an empty cup and you cannot fill someone else’s when your own is cracked. Self-love is not selfish. It’s maintenance for your soul. It’s how you ensure that the next time you love someone, it’s not from neediness, but from wholeness.

The Mirror Called Relationship

A true life partner is not someone who completes you they mirror you.

They reflect both your beauty and your wounds.

Every relationship is an energetic classroom.

The more conscious you are, the more you’ll see that your partner mirrors exactly what you need to evolve. If they’re emotionally unavailable, ask where you’re emotionally closed.

If they’re controlling, ask where you give your power away.

If they’re inconsistent, ask where you’re inconsistent with yourself.

This is the sacred mirror work of love.

Painful, yes — but also the most transformative spiritual path you can walk.

Everything Is Energy, Including Love

We are electromagnetic beings.

Every thought sends a signal; every emotion sends a vibration.

Love is the highest frequency, that’s why heartbreak feels like a fall from grace.

When you’re in love, your vibration rises. You feel magnetic, radiant, alive.

When love ends, your frequency drops, and you feel heavy, dense, disconnected.

But remember, the energy of love doesn’t disappear when the relationship ends. It simply changes form.

You can transmute that energy into art, service, creativity, or spiritual growth.

Channel your heartbreak into healing.Use it as fuel for your purpose.

Because the same energy that made you fall in love can make you rise into yourself.

Practical Ways to Reclaim Your Energy

1. Write letters you’ll never send. Say everything you wish you could then burn them.

2. Take back your name. Stop checking who views your stories. Delete old playlists. Reclaim your space.

3. Cut cords energetically. Sit quietly, visualize the person, and say:“I release you with gratitude. I keep the love, but I return the pain.”

4. Rebuild your identity. Who are you outside of that love story? What did you stop doing when you were together? Start again.

5. Reconnect with your spiritual practices. Meditation, breathwork, movement, prayer whatever helps you come home to your heart.

6. Forgive, for your own peace. Forgiveness doesn’t mean they were right; it means you’re free.

From Heartbreak to Heart-Openness

Healing is not linear. One day you’ll feel powerful and whole; the next you’ll find yourself crying over an old photo. That’s okay. Healing comes in waves.

You don’t have to force yourself to “move on.”You just have to keep moving through.

Every heartbreak refines you. It softens your ego and strengthens your soul.

It teaches you boundaries, discernment, compassion, and the sacred art of letting go.

If you use pain as your teacher instead of your identity, you’ll never truly lose, you’ll only transform.

A Gentle Reminder

You were love before anyone loved you.

You are still love, even when no one chooses you.

And you will always be love, because love isn’t something you get, it’s something you are.

So don’t close your heart.Let it break open.Let it stretch.Let it become the garden where new love can grow, not because you need someone to water it, but because you’ve learned how to bloom on your own.

Collective Energy Reading:

Dog Spirit: “Be Loyal to What You Love”

Today’s collective message comes from Dog Spirit, a gentle reminder of devotion, integrity, and the quiet strength of the heart.

This spirit invites you to reflect on what you’re truly loyal to, not just in words, but in energy, attention, and action.Because loyalty is not about blind obedience; it’s about commitment to what nourishes your soul.

The Message

Dog Spirit arrives when your heart needs reassurance that faithfulness still matters in a world full of quick distractions and temporary pleasures.It reminds you that love — whether toward a person, a dream, or your own soul, requires consistency and care.

Ask yourself:

Where am I giving my loyalty?Is it aligned with what truly brings me peace, joy, and purpose?

Sometimes, we stay loyal to things that no longer serve us; an old version of ourselves, a relationship out of comfort, a job out of fear, or an identity built from others’ expectations.Dog Spirit teaches that true loyalty begins within.

Be loyal first to your own heart’s truth, even if that means walking a different path.

Energetic Meaning

In the spiritual sense, this card is about energy exchange the invisible threads of devotion that bind you to people, projects, and places.It asks you to look at where your energy flows effortlessly, and where it drains.You are being guided to protect your energy by nurturing what feels reciprocal and releasing what doesn’t.

When you are loyal to your passion, your healing, your growth, and your higher calling, the universe mirrors that loyalty back to you.

Shadow Side of the Dog Spirit

In its shadow, this energy can reveal over-loyalty, staying in situations where your loyalty is not respected or returned.If you’ve been giving your heart to people or places that keep wounding you, this is your nudge to reclaim your devotion.

Loyalty without boundaries leads to self-betrayal.

True love, whether self-love or love for others — must include discernment.

You can love someone and still walk away.You can be devoted to your dream and still rest when tired.You can be loyal to your purpose without burning out trying to prove your worth.

Healing Reflection

This card also carries a message of trust and companionship.It reminds us that love is built through time, through showing up even when things aren’t easy.But it also whispers that your most sacred companion is your truest and most loyal friend, is yourself.

If you’ve been betrayed, abandoned, or disappointed recently, Dog Spirit is here to help you heal that wound.It says:

“You can trust again but first, trust yourself.”

Healing begins when you learn to be loyal to your boundaries, your peace, and your heart’s rhythm.

Journal Prompts

Take a moment to reflect on these questions under the energy of Dog Spirit:

1. Who or what do I give most of my energy and devotion to right now?

2. Are my actions aligned with what I truly love, or with what I fear losing?

3. Where have I been loyal to my pain instead of my peace?

4. How can I honor my commitments without losing myself in them?

5. What does “being loyal to my own soul” look like in daily life?

Dog Spirit invites you to embody faith, humility, and heart-centered devotion.It’s not asking you to be perfect — it’s asking you to be present.

Be loyal to your healing.

Be loyal to your truth.

Be loyal to the dreams that set your heart on fire.

Be loyal to the love that expands you, not confines you.

Because when you stay true to what you love not out of fear, but out of authenticity you become magnetic to everything meant for you.

Your loyalty becomes your magic. 🐾💫

Reflection Prompts for Your Healing Journey

Grab a notebook, sit somewhere quiet, and ask yourself these questions honestly.Don’t rush the answers. Let them come through your heart, not your mind.

1. What does love mean to me beyond romance and attachment?

2. When did I first learn that love hurts? What happened?

3. How do I treat myself when I feel rejected or unloved?

4. What patterns keep repeating in my relationships?

5. What am I afraid will happen if I finally let go?

6. What version of me am I ready to release with this heartbreak?

7. What boundaries do I need to create to protect my peace?

8. What does self-love look like in my daily actions, not just my words?

9. Who am I becoming through this pain?

10. If my inner child could speak, what would she say she needs right now?

Closing Words: The Alchemy of Heartbreak

Heartbreak is not the end of love it’s the initiation into true love.It strips away illusion, dependency, fantasy, and projection and leaving only truth.

And the truth is:

You were never broken.

You were just remembering yourself.

Love will find you again maybe in another person, maybe in your purpose, maybe in the quiet moments where you finally realize that your own presence is enough.

Until then, be gentle with your heart.Feed it sunlight, kindness, music, silence, nature, friendship, prayer, and time.Let yourself rest. Let yourself feel. Let yourself heal.

Because healing a broken heart is not about finding someone new.

It’s about finding you — again and again, until you remember that you’ve always been whole.